A Tale of Two Bevels

Introspection & Contemplation

For even though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; Your rod and Your staff comfort me.

Psalm 23, Verse 4.

Dave Goggins, Jocko Willink, Joe Rogan and other bros like them. You either like them or you hate them. I for one, in particular like their grit, tenacity and endurance. I find their mindset infectious and their words motivating to get me off my butt and do things. I once heard Mike Tyson in an interview philosophize that “discipline is doing things you don’t love to do, like you like doing them”. Easier said then done, Mike.

Having recently lived through the experiences on the homestead with the piggies, I have to admit …I am living through a profound episode of “oh-oh”. I know for some the thought process and conclsion might be: “what’s the big deal?” Well, I have been working very hard on self improvement, acquiring and practicing these exact kind of skills in the last few years. The pigs in the valley were a test. The report card is in. Epic Failure.

Despite many hours of research and many hours of practice (hands on) with chickens and quails, my skills were not good enough. To be honest it scared me. To be even more honest, the fact I was scared of something scared me even more. I had been in a very strong place mentally for quite a few months.

Truth be told. I needed the wake up call. For a guy who puts so much thought into preparedness, I had not been in the practice of the correct skills for such a daunting task. In other words I assumed because I sharpened a knife a handful of times with semi consistent results I was good to go. I assumed because I fired a rifle down range a handful of times with 80-90% accuracy I was good to go. I only have myself to blame. My arrogance more so. I am not the only one to have fallen victim to this dangerous mentalspace. Prepper and SHTF forums are packed with people who overly-romanticize living in survival situations. I can only pray I do not become swept away in that riptide.

The good news is, as always, God is there to meet me when I have these moments of humble clarity, where I have to yield my inaptitude. I am a big fan of Fr Mark Goring’s spirituality these days. Inspired by the practices of the desert Fathers, he temporarily escapes modernism by going on three day retreats out in the wilderness. All of these practices of mine: the prepping, the skills, the hunting, the preserves (canning), the adventures, the camping, the hammocking, the hiking, the bushcrafting… None of it will be of any real benefit to me if I become arrogant. Arrogance in times of trial — in truth — is a great way to get yourself killed.

Having just celebrated Easter and having heard the account of The Passion again it’s a reminder to embrace suffering and firmly reject “comfort”. I’m not going to lie. Sitting here and trying to free hand sharpen a knife with only a small 6” field pocket stone, every night, with only fair results is infuriating. I just want to cheat and put the bevel guides back out and get my knife razor sharp and get back to living. But I am only cheating myself … and next years piggie coalition… if I show up unprepared again. This is a war of attrition with my snare drum all over again.

Tell you what though. These humbling experiences God provides has taught me how this movie is going to end. When it’s all said and done I’ll be able to sharpen the bevels of a knife blindfolded with my hands cuffed behind my back, or I’ll die trying.

Until next time,

God Bless, Work Safe, Stay Safe.

BlueCollarDood